I’m not dead honest… It’s only been four years.
27th September 2018.
I woke up in bed, eyes still closed, I moved my arm and felt my elbow hit something. I opened my eyes and realised I wasn’t alone, the room was still dark, but I could see the form of someone laying next to me.
They were laying flat on their back, there was something cold and sterile about it, almost like a corpse laying on a mortuary slab on a TV show. They were wearing black jeans, a white T-shirt with blue sleeves and some kind of image on the front, it was the hair that gave away their identity. No mistaking it. [DILD]
That fact she was in my room didn’t really bother me, I could help but shake the feeling that something was really wrong. I said her name, but got no response. I moved my hand, placing it onto her chest not sure if I would feel her chest rise and fall or just a cold body. I said her name again as I touched her, again she didn’t respond. I could feel her ribs through the t-shirt, there was no breathing but she wasn’t cold.
I reached up and cupped her face intending to turn her head towards me, but she turned completely moving onto her side. She looked at me then, her eyes were so blue almost as if they were emitting light. I asked her why she was here. She smiled wryly and said she wasn’t really sure. She just… Wanted to see me.
She spoke more, but her words kept getting cut like a mobile phone with a poor connection. The only thing I could really make out was the words ‘need help’. I was suddenly filled with a feeling of dread. Normally there are no people in my false awakening dreams, in the rare instances that there are, they are usually people who have died. I asked in a rather stern manner ‘You’re not dead are you?’.
She looked at me, no emotion, no feeling in her eyes just bright and glowing. She only muttered the word ‘No’ in a tone that suggested I was just being silly now. It took me until now to realise this was not the P. that I knew, it was definitely her but younger. Her face was softer, arms completely void of tattoos. I was about to ask her how old she was when she said: ‘I tried to hang myself once. I was 18.’
Even though she said other wise, I couldn’t help but feel something was seriously wrong. I was about to question her when my eyes started to feel heavy, I realised I was losing the dream. I reached out and asked her if she’d take my hand, I was hoping to at least keep the dream alive by making contact even if I couldn’t see any more. I felt her fingers interlace with mine as she said the word ‘No’. I was confused at first, I didn’t understand why she would say no and take my hand anyway, but as the dream started to fade and I could feel my real body I realised she was saying no to my intention of using physical contact to stay in the dream.
I woke up in bed, I was alone. I saw a slight movement as I looked up I saw a spider on the bed walking away from me. It was hard to tell for sure but I could have sworn it was wearing clothes. I muttered the word Anansi? The spider stopped, turned, looked at me and then continued walking away as I woke up…